"aw your underpants are so cute today *turns off light*… wait… what’re they doing?? OH MY GAWD"
Oh my god.
It’s full of stars!
Space Undies: When Your Ass is Out of This World.
Would you like to boldly go where no man has gone before?
I NEED DIS
Me: “Just sleeping right? No hanky panky.”
Ryan: “No mixing the fruit.”
Me: “No churning the butter. No spelunking the cave.”
Ryan: “No deep sea fishing?”
Me: “No plundering for gold.”
Ryan: “No filling holes.”
Me: “No horizontal tango. No sheathing the sword. No stuffing the pillow.”
Ryan: “No filling the socket.”
Me: “No plunging the depths.”
Ryan: “No stabbing the dragon.”
Me: “No drawing from the well.”
Ryan: “No drilling for water.”
Me: “No fracking.”
Ryan: “No geyser.”
Me: “No fireworks. No launching torpedos.”
Ryan: “No ice cream.”
Me: “No wandering the deep forest.”
Ryan: “No draining the snake.”
Me: “No feeding the bearded clam. No troll in the dungeon.”
Ryan: “No snake in the garden.”
Me: “No eating forbidden fruit.”
Ryan: “No licking the open wound?”
Me: “No fucking.”
I’ve learned to not trust my university’s library. The late fees are ridiculous. I once lost a book, they charged me extra late fees and a lost book fee. I found it, returned it, and they took off the lost book fee, but kept the extra late fees, so I ended up owing them $139. Then when I called and begged them to at least reduce the fee, since I am very close to being broke, they refused. Oh and they blocked my student account so I couldn’t sign up for classes next semester until I paid in full. So, after I paid the rest of what I had in my account and asked my mother to pay the rest, I got to sign up for classes, finding that two classes I needed were full. So thank you, UMBC, for being so incredibly helpful. I’ll be getting all of my study materials from the public library from now on, where they charge me 25 cents per week for a late book.
IT’S FUCKING THURSDAY. DID YOU KNOW THERE HAS NOT BEEN A BEARDED PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES SINCE 1893?
LIFE PRO TIP OF THE FUCKING DAY:
READ MORE. READ EVERYTHING YOU CAN.
PERSON OF THE FUCKING DAY:
THIS MOTHERFUCKER WOULD PUT JOEY CHESTNUT TO SHAME. more»
IT’S FUCKING THURSDAY